More Comfortable in My Skin

The last year or so has been a supercharged journey of beginning to be me again. I'm approaching 40 and my body has started showing me that the very early stages of perimenopause are making their appearance. I decided to take it head on and get a shit ton more comfortable with me, because I've got a big journey of change ahead of me and I want to be as present and alive through it all as I possibly can.

When I was a teenager I remember that the women around me I most admired were 40+. All these women were exactly who they were and proud of it. They didn't take anyone's shit while being loving too. They were honest, authentic, and most of all fucking wild and ballsy as hell. I always wanted and hoped to have "it" whatever it was that they had. Now that I'm entering the stage of life that the women I most admired were in, I think I'm actually getting it. Its not about trying to be...its about just being exactly who the good Lord made me to be and no longer comparing myself to what I think others want of me. Its fucking comfortable and wild and crazy. Its speaking up for myself and walking away. It's a knowingness that I am perfectly beautiful and weird and not changing for anyone.

I'm really loving this time! I'm enjoying my confidence in parenting, although adjusting to being the mom of a teenager was a challenging shift, my intuition is strong and Im going with it. I'm really enjoying my marriage and how much more relaxed I am as a wife and lover. I'm more at peace with my health and wellness and its imperfections. I've really settled into my body and what she can do for me and is capable of. The last time I loved this body this much was when I was growing a human. Its remarkable, this life stuff. I'm feeling badass again and I'm actually celebrating that it doesn't matter if I'm a "good girl", it only matters that I'm all of me and that I like who she is. If others don't like me then they can fuck right off & the most amazing part is I actually mean that!

I basically feel like a later season Captain Janeway, strong, in charge of those under my care, loving, willing to do whatever it takes to be true to my principles, and the most awesome badass bitch in the galaxy. I can't wait to see what else this life is bringing me. The good, the bad, and even the mundane...come on over you crazy, beautiful life!